Archive for January, 2009


To feel that everyone but you has grown up is weird. I look around me and all my dear friends got jobs or boyfriends or anything that makes me see how older they’ve became. I’m the only one that is still stuck in a girl’s body even though my mind has been telling me it’s time to leave somethings behind. And that’s what I started to do. I’m not sure what I’m leaving behind yet but I have this feeling it has something to do with my imagination and dreams. And that, I’m afraid I won’t be able to leave behind not even in a hundred years. So I felt I needed to leave behind other things instead. Like seeing life as teenager and being immature. I feel like I’ve grown in my own special, disturbing way since that. It’s not easy, but I’m dealing with it as I can. My perspective of things changed and now I’ll just stick to my hopes and dreams to fulfill my goal.


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A Dream Within A Dream

What is real?
I’m lost in the middle of dreams and reality.
Suddenly everything feels miles away from me, like if it all is a dream.
Am I the only thing that’s real? Or am I just part of my own dream?
I’m feeling stuck inside a dimension that nothing is real.
A dimension where everything is as real as a dream.
Are we all dreaming? Or are we all living a dream?
Is this real?
I’m not sure of anything.
All I know is I am not real. Or not.

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4 days.
How is that so hard to handle?
Why am I counting each and every single second of it so desperately to go home?
Shouldn’t I been ceasing the moment with my family right now?
Then why do I cherish so much the thought of getting back home?
My sister is counting on me and still I’m homesick.
I need to get back home before I loose it.

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X-mas Mode Off

Ano novo. 2008 agora é apenas mais uma memória na minha mente.. Mais um ano que deixo pra trás junto aos outros 19 da minha existência. 2008 foi um ano de decisões, um ano de grandes acontecimentos, um ano inesquecível. Mas, deixo tudo para trás. A minha frente, se encontra meu futuro. Futuro que me assusta ao me encontrar no mar de possibilidades que ele me proporciona. Futuro no qual me entrego de braços abertos sem medo dele não me segurar. Agora não existe mais retorno nessa estrada que prende minha total atenção. O medo do desconhecido corre nas minhas veias mas agora é certo: Eu estou pronta.

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